Title: Fool's Mistake
Genre: Romance, Angst
Word Count: 2364
Summary: Franziska's drunk, and Adrian thinks she knows better than to get her hopes up.
The first sign Adrian had that Franziska was drunk was when the other woman wrapped her arm around her shoulders in sign of affection that was almost unheard of for Franziska von Karma. Adrian tried to laugh it off, pretend as though this sort of thing happened all the time.
But she couldn’t ignore the little flutter of anticipation she felt in heart – and it was wrong. The Franziska Adrian knew wouldn’t want to act like this, especially in a public place like a restaurant.
“Adrian Andrews,” Franziska spoke, and there was still something dignified about her speech even though Adrian could tell it was different from usual, even without the wine glass in Franziska’s hand, “you look lovely tonight.” The glance that Franziska cast over Adrian was nothing if not overt and Adrian could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks. It wasn’t fair, Adrian decided, that Franziska could say those sort of things and be completely unaware of the effect they had on Adrian. Franziska’s declarations of Adrian’s beauty were often a lot more covert in the daylight, in a sober state of mind, but still, they made Adrian’s heart beat faster anyway because it made her wonder if today would be the day, the day that Franziska returned her feelings for her.
It was a stupid thing to long for, Adrian knew, stupid, or even foolish, as Franziska would say, to place so much on the feeling of being accepted by one person. But she couldn’t help it – Franziska von Karma…well, she was everything, and sometimes Adrian could pretend that just being in her presence, as a friend, was more than enough.
There were times that she wanted more, however, but she pushed the thought aside – Franziska von Karma didn’t think of her that way, Franziska von Karma was interested in men; strong, independent men who knew how to get things done.
Sometimes Adrian wondered if she were more independent herself, it would make Franziska like her more. But that was another silly thought – Franziska liked her just fine, after all, weren’t they out here, celebrating Franziska’s twenty first birthday, just the two of them?
For now, however, Adrian contented herself with letting Franziska drape her arm over her shoulders. It wasn’t anything that couldn’t be construed as mere friendliness, friends having a good old chat over a beautiful dinner.
Or at least, that’s what Adrian thought until Franziska’s hand drifted lower, skimming over the material covering her breast. Suddenly, Adrian felt hyperaware of everything – their surroundings, Franziska’s light touch over her chest, the dimmed lighting, everything. She needed to be, as it seemed that Franziska wasn’t taking such precautions. “Franziska,” Adrian argued, lifting her hand to meet Franziska’s. She struggled for something to say before finally deciding on, “not here.”
Franziska withdrew her hand, and Adrian felt momentarily relieved; even though her body wanted nothing more to grab Franziska’s hand and replace where it had been, Adrian knew she couldn’t do that to Franziska. What Adrian hadn’t expected, however, was Franziska to lean against her, breath warm against her ear. “Later, then?” Franziska whispered, and Adrian felt Franziska’s hand on her knee, and it was frightening - Adrian had never seen Franziska von Karma let herself go like this, but to be truthful, what was even scarier was the possibility that someone like Franziska could be harbouring these feelings for her.
She shook her head, suddenly feeling incredibly upset. It was foolish to think like that – Franziska didn’t know what she was doing, and it would be unfair for Adrian to make such implications. Instead, she ignored the question. “We should probably go now,” Adrian suggested, as they had in fact finished their meal a long time ago; they’d been spending the better part of the last hour talking as Franziska drunk more wine.
Adrian felt Franziska’s hand move its way higher and in a moment of panic, Adrian clamped her hand down upon Franziska’s and Franziska withdrew again, her eyes clouding slightly as she pulled out her purse to deal with the bill, and when Adrian objected –after all, it was Franziska’s birthday - Franziska just laughed blithely, patting Adrian on the shoulder as she reminded Adrian how pretty she looked tonight.
Adrian almost wished Franziska wouldn’t do that.
It was with great relief that Adrian remembered that they had taken her car to the restaurant that night, as it lessened Franziska’s insistences that she was sober enough to drive. Not to say that she still didn’t make them; the declarations that only a fool got drunk in public were enough to make Adrian mad – couldn’t Franziska tell how different she sounded? Adrian supposed not; it seemed as thought Franziska really were drunk.
Having done her best to forget about Franziska’s forwardness in the restaurant, it was with some surprise that Adrian realised that Franziska hadn’t forgotten. They’d made it back to Adrian’s apartment with relative ease; it seemed that Franziska still had enough sense in her not to distract Adrian while she was driving. Now, however, Franziska was approaching her with a new found determination in her eyes and it was with a sinking heart that Adrian remembered her words at the restaurant, words that seemed like they had been said a long time ago: Not here.
When Franziska touched her this time, her hands firmly grasping Adrian’s waist, it was as if Adrian’s heart didn’t know whether to fly or fall. She’d wanted this, hadn’t she? Dreamt of it, even, but she would never let it affect their friendship, not unless she knew for certain that Franziska wanted it as well. And now, Franziska was making her intentions apparent. Or was she? Or would she wake up with a hangover tomorrow morning and regret everything that had taken place the night before?
But although she wasn’t sure what to feel, Adrian’s heart was fluttering again. It was difficult for it not to, being in such close proximity to Franziska von Karma, feeling the other woman’s body pressed up against hers – when had that happened? Adrian felt the curve of Franziska’s breast in the valley between her own and soon enough Adrian’s mind had emptied of the logical reasoning that told her that this was a bad idea, that she should be pushing Franziska away and helping her to bed – and not in that way, not in the way that made her feel as though her body was flushing from head to toe.
That was why when Franziska’s face hovered close, why when she murmured yet again how beautiful Adrian was that night, and when her lips closed in on Adrian’s own, that Adrian gave in.
The kiss was ineloquent; Franziska’s lipstick had worn off at some point of the evening, leaving her lips drier than Adrian wouldn’t have imagined (not that she thought about such things so often, did she?). In fact, there was something decidedly un-Franziska about it, in the sloppiness of presentation, in the way the their teeth clinked against each others’ that when they withdrew for breath, when Franziska tried to slip her hands into Adrian’s sleeves to gain access to her breasts, that Adrian managed to push her away, but not before Franziska had succeeded in clumsily grazing a nipple.
This wasn’t the Franziska von Karma Adrian knew; Franziska would never let herself lose control like this – wasn’t that one of the things Adrian admired about Franziska most of all. “Stop,” Adrian finally commanded after disentangling Franziska’s hands from her clothes. “Franziska,” she said sternly, although her heart was fluttering and her panties were damp, “you don’t want to do this.”
Franziska took a step forward, back towards Adrian, placing her hands on her hips. “How dare you assume what I want,” she said, her voice almost containing a whining quality to it, and that was what confirmed in Adrian’s mind that this was not the real Franziska von Karma she was dealing with. “Don’t be a fool.”
If there was anything Adrian had learnt over the past several years, it was how to start taking control of situations. This needed to be under her control, before they did something she knew they would both regret. “I’m not. I’m doing this because…” and because it was taking all her concentration to make sure Franziska would stop touching her, the rest of her words became a blather that sounded awfully a lot like, ‘I love you’.
That was what Franziska heard as well, and she seemed to accept that, nodding to herself. “I care about you a lot as well, Adrian Andrews.” That was as good as an ‘I love you’ from Franziska von Karma, and it made Adrian feel elated, as if Franziska’s feelings for her were real, and not simply the result of too much to drink. But when Franziska started dragging her hands up Adrian’s sides again, Adrian knew she had to do something, no matter how much she wanted to give into the temptation to letting Franziska do what she wanted, whatever she wanted to her.
“You should go to sleep,” Adrian said firmly, tugging on Franziska’s arm, and although it took several attempts, Adrian finally managed to convince Franziska to go to bed – Adrian’s apartment, cramped and cluttered as it was only had the one bed, but that was all right; Adrian would just have to sleep on the couch. She watched as Franziska drifted off to sleep, and she look beautiful in darkness, so beautiful Adrian almost wanted to curl up to her, her body pressed against Franziska’s back and sleep there too, but she knew couldn’t do that. That would be taking liberties with Franziska that Adrian knew she had no right to be taking.
But as Adrian set herself up on the couch that night, she wondered if everything Franziska had said and done earlier had been true; if they’d just been feelings Franziska had been repressing out of propriety, if it would be easier if Adrian just went directly to her and admitted, ‘I’m gay too.’ And even though she knew it was wrong to get her hopes up, she couldn’t help but dream.
And she did dream that night, and the nature of her dreams was unsurprising at best; Franziska naked and beautiful beneath her as Adrian trailed sticky fingers up the paleness of her thighs until they reached their final destination; cuddling into Franziska’s side after everything was said and done…
Adrian woke up the next morning in a sheen of imagined sex, and although her dreams of the night past made her face flush once more, her first thought was to check on Franziska.
She didn’t make it as far as her bedroom, however, as she came across Franziska in her kitchen, sitting at the table, hair damp and sticking to the sides of her face. Adrian noticed Franziska had a shower, and then wondered how Franziska had managed that without waking her. Adrian could only hope that Franziska had sobered up a bit.
Adrian noticed Franziska had a glass of water set in front of her, and empty medicine packaging next to her. She paused in the doorway, wondering if Franziska would be the first to talk.
“Adrian Andrews,” she started quietly, and even though her voice didn’t seem to have the control that Franziska von Karma’s usually did, it was much, much, better than what she had sounded last night, “yesterday evening…was a mistake. I was foolish.”
Adrian merely nodded, because she could not disagree.
“I assure you,” Franziska said, almost laughing as she brushed a few errant strands of hair out of her eyes, “that I did not mean anything I said back then.”
Adrian had been expecting it, but even so, she could not help but feel her heart sink again. She’d told herself last night that it wasn’t Franziska speaking, that she would regret it in the morning, but she’d almost made herself want to believe it. She almost thought that she, Adrian Andrews, was worthy of Franziska von Karma. It was obvious that such foolish hopes would end in nothing but disappointment.
She’d stopped Franziska for a reason, after all, because she knew it would be like this in the morning, that these sort of things were best restrained to dreams that were talked about to no-one else and all that Adrian could do was be the best, most reliable friend she could be to ease Franziska’s discomfort in the morning. At least she had succeeded somewhat in that task.
Franziska sighed, picking up her glass. “It should be clear that we speak of the events of last night to no-one.” Adrian nodded, even though right then, she felt completely empty. It was as if for one, foolish moment last night, she had let her convince herself that Franziska loved her too, despite the logics of the situation proving to Adrian that it was nothing but a mistake to be forgotten. After all, that was how Adrian had treated it, right? Franziska was probably embarrassed. “But thank you,” Franziska said, and there was a small smile on her face then, and somehow, it made things somewhat easier for Adrian. Sure, it was almost like putting a band-aid on a broken arm, but there was reassurance, ever so slight, to be garnered from that smile.
Things would go back to normal, Adrian reminded herself with a deep breath. Last night would simply be pushed to the back of their minds as a fool’s mistake, they would never speak of it, and Adrian wouldn’t let Franziska overindulge on alcohol again.. It had been too much to hope that Franziska really did harbour such feelings for Adrian, and Adrian knew she ought to just settle for what she had – there wouldn’t have been any point in jeopardising their friendship by letting the scenario continue, would there? “You’re welcome,” Adrian said, doing her best to keep her voice even and strong, just like Franziska always did. There was no point talking about these feelings; Adrian knew that Franziska always referred to such things as foolish.
And yet, that didn’t stop Adrian from dreaming about what could have been.